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Thursday, March 30

Doorway Flash by Jason Evans

Doorway Flash Entry
by Jason Evans

"What's happening to you?"

Claudia stared. Behind him.

"What are you looking at?"

Her eyes snapped back.

"I want to help you."

Suffocation shook in her eyes. Her fingernails dug into wood.

"You know that, don't you?"

Stale, stale air.

"Claudia, this is killing me!" he sobbed.

She tore from the chair to the doorway. The slam cut off his gasp.

The closet.

Delicious darkness enclosed her. She curled in her cocoon and savored the beauty.

Breathing her own breaths.

8 reactions:

Kelly Parra said...

Ooh, Jason! Love the twist you added this one. =D

kalbzayn said...

I like how much Claudia says without opening her mouth. Very good.

anne frasier said...

very nice, jason!

breathing her own breaths.

i love that.

jason evans said...

Kelly, :D

Kalbzayn, thanks. The economy required for these flash pieces is a great teacher.

Anne, glad you liked!

Jeff said...

Very nice, Jason! :)

jason evans said...

Jeff, thanks!

Robin said...

It's amazing the intensity you were able to convey in so few words! Wow, loved it!

jason evans said...

Robin, thanks! =D These word-limit exercises really force you to squeeze the most you can out of words. I did one called "Secret Oceans" for a 69-word flash fiction contest. I have to warn you, it's pretty creepy though.