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Tuesday, March 28

Kneel Before Moore

"Kneel Before Moore "
by Rob Bass

I think Alan Moore might be General Zod and the implications are staggering. I don't know where to begin. If you think you don't know who those people are, let me remind you. General Zod is the guy Superman's father Jor-El sent to the Phantom Zone for treason. In the movie? Then Zod and his two flunkies came back and had a great big fracas with the son of their jailer, teamed up with Luthor and everything. Kneel before Zod! Remember? Played to tremendous effect by Terrence Stamp. Alan Moore is a British writer responsible for some of the greatest comic books ever written: Watchmen, From Hell, America's Best Comics. He even wrote V for Vendetta, they've got a movie of that one out now. You know, bald Natalie Portman. That's all anyone wants to say about it. But Moore disdains the film adaptations of his work, won't even accept money for the rights. Man of principles. He's also a Gnostic warlock. For real, I mean. Practices magic, his writing is part of that, all an invocation, apparently. What are spells and stories but words, right?


There's this one character of Moore's, doesn't matter who, who lines all these TVs up in this bank of screens, then switches his attention from one to the other at periodic intervals. The process causes him to form associations he otherwise would not have. And that's just what happened to me. I've got all these jpegs on my computer here in my cubicle, and first one of Zod came up followed by the very famous black and white of Alan Moore and it just seems so obvious now. What if that wasn't a bottomless pit that Zod fell down at the end of Superman II? What if he landed in Northampton, England and started a career writing comics? Of course, he'd be one of the very best. He's Zod! "Moore's" Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow? is universally acknowledged by fans as one of, if not the, greatest single Superman story ever. Who knows Kal-El better? No one on this Earth, bunky. Now you might say, wait, does the issue end with the hero torn limb from limb by every villain in the DC Universe? Because that's the only thing Zod is capable of? Hell no! He's a strategist, a tactician, a General, for God's sake! All about reeling us in. And he's got all the time in the world.

And it would sure explain the magic. Levitation, heat vision, apparent invulnerability. Seems like magic to you or me but Kryptonian powers account for everything. What worries me is he's just about to wrap up this entire universe of titles he's been playing with for the last few years, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen's the only one left. We know he's got a master plan, but I've got no idea what it might be. Seems like those responsible for the film adaptations would've been made to suffer by now. Maybe that's next on his plate. Maybe he's actually found a measure of peace, free to weave epic yarns that thrill the masses in a way he was never able to on Krypton. I imagine he spends a lot of time with that super-vision trained up at the sky, waiting for his infant nemesis to come rocketing in, to spoil his new life, or define it, or both.

Rob Bass is moving to Austin with his wife next week, where he plans to continue writing novels and shorts and comic book scripts as fast as he can, in between playing music and stalking Robert Rodriguez.

4 reactions:

Kelly Parra said...

Rob, this is an interesting concept! You know I've loved some of the movies you mentioned and never knew who was the mastermind behind them. Thanks for enlightening us and sharing with FM! =D

jason evans said...

I got a kick of this piece! Very nice, Rob.

BTW, does Alan Moore have a pulverized hand? Remember, General Zod's glee was short lived.

jamie ford said...

I love General Zod. Ursa. Non. They were so cool and Superman was such a stiff.

When I was twelve I would have rather spent time in the Phantom Zone than summer camp.

And Alan Moore. What a fearsome and talented mind.

They due seem a lot alike...

bluepaul said...